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Can You Use a Name You Used for a Miscarried Baby

"Names for Miscarried Babies" by Kate Towne (CatholicMom.com) Via Flickr (2010), all rights reserved. Titles added in Picmonkey.

I recently read this quote, attributed to writer Barbara Kingsolver:

"A miscarriage is a natural and common outcome. All told, probably more women have lost a child from this world than oasis't. Virtually don't mention it, and they go on from twenty-four hour period to day as if information technology hadn't happened, so people imagine a woman in this state of affairs never really knew or loved what she had. But inquire her erstwhile: how sometime would your child exist now? And she'll know."

This is certainly true for me (the niggling 1 I lost, who I've ever felt was a boy, would have been x this spring); there hasn't been a mean solar day that'southward gone past over these past ten years that I haven't thought of the infant. And while it's easy for a mom to think the baby who lived and died in her womb, I've found that having given the baby a name has helped him remain prominent in all of our memories. We talk about him frequently, still, and his older and younger brothers all know him, by proper noun, as their blood brother in heaven.

[tweet "Naming a miscarried child tin aid in the mourning process. Past @sanctanomina"]

Though non everyone chooses to name the babies they've miscarried, a lot of people observe information technology to exist helpful in their mourning procedure. I wrote about this topic on my blog a while ago, and heard from readers with a variety of experiences. Some chose names they loved and would have bestowed whether the baby lived or not; others chose names that seemed perfect for that baby only that they likely wouldn't have given to a kid who had lived. Though none of them knew for sure if their babies were boys or girls, some *knew* (in the way mothers know), and named their babies accordingly; others preferred gender-neutral names or a starting time name combined with the opposite gender center name, in club to cover their bases.

Information technology was this latter thought -- gender-neutral names -- that encouraged Mandi over at A Blog About Miscarriage, who herself has had four miscarriages, to post a while ago about the names she and her husband gave their babies. She told me, "When nosotros were trying to name the babies we lost, I tried googling 'gender neutral Catholic names' and 'gender neutral Saint names' and didn't come up with much," and so she also compiled a great list of the gender neutral names they didn't utilise, in instance it's helpful for other parents like her "who don't like naming a baby a gender specific name without knowing the gender for certain." Information technology'due south a great list! She asked me if I could add together whatever others, and this is what I came upward with:

Angel — I one time knew a girl named Angel, and the master male character in Tess of the d'Urbervilles is Affections Clare (what a cute combo itself!); one of my readers had chosen this name for one of her babies in heaven.

Clair — speaking of Clare, Clair (that spelling) is actually the male grade of Clare. It also makes me think of Sinclair, which is a male name that literally means "St. Clair" — to me, so, Clair and Sinclair could be used for either boys or girls.

Guadalupe — from Our Lady of Guadalupe, and is used for both boys and girls.

Luca — it'southward masculine in Italian, Romanian, and High german, and feminine in Hungarian and Croatian.

Mary/Marie/Maria — of form these are girls' names, but men such as St. Clement Maria Hofbauer and St. Anthony Mary Claret used them as well.

Nicola — it's masculine in Italian simply feminine in German, Czech, and English.

Rosario — ways "Rosary" and is feminine in Spanish and masculine in Italian.

Sam — this could work nicely for a boy or a girl.

Sidney/Sydney — Sinclair makes me call up of Sidney, which could refer either to St. Denis or the "Holy Winding Sail of Christ" (Shroud of Turin, also known as the Sacred Sendon [sendon is from Latin sindon, pregnant "fine cloth" or "linen," specially those used as shrouds).

Vianney, Majella, Liguori, Clairvaux  — I've seen these terminal names of male saints used for girls.

Practise yous accept any other saintly names that would be suitable for either a boy or a girl? Take you lot named a miscarried babe, and if and then, did y'all use a gender neutral name?

Copyright 2017 Katherine Morna Towne

Can You Use a Name You Used for a Miscarried Baby

Source: https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/2017/02/15/names-miscarried-babies